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<title>Late Night Calls~ KageHina by Nickoliz_B1</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26140585">Late Night Calls~ KageHina</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickoliz_B1/pseuds/Nickoliz_B1'>Nickoliz_B1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Depressed Hinata Shouyou, Heavy Angst, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Tsukishima Kei Friendship, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Yachi Hitoka Friendship, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kageyama Tobio Being an Idiot, Kageyama Tobio Swears, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Not Happy, Sad Ending, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, im sorry, lil bit of fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:40:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26140585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickoliz_B1/pseuds/Nickoliz_B1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pick up every call. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No matter what time it is. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>No matter what nonsense they say. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>You never know why they are calling.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>217</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>I wipe my face and reach for the phone. I pray he’s up. I pray he answers. I want to hear his voice one last time. I want his words to be happy ones. I call the number and let it ring. I call him 3 times before giving up. He wouldn’t have helped anyway. There is nothing he really could’ve done. I wipe my tears and wash the blood off my wrists. I grab my phone back and scroll through the camera roll. I smile at the pictures as I search through my drawers for the pill bottle. Pictures of Yachi when she stole my phone. Pictures of Tsukishima that Yamaguchi took. Pictures of Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. Selfie of me and Yamaguchi. Picture of Kageyama with his milk. Picture of me copying Kageyama and his milk. I find the pill bottle just as I come up with a video of the first years. I turn on the bath and play the video.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kageyama!” I yell. “Boke! Hinata! Boke!” Kageyama screams as Yachi laughs. Yamaguchi jumps on Tsukishima’s back and starts screaming. “Come on! We have to win!” I yell. “Do it Kageyama!” Yachi yells. Kageyama bends down and I jump on his back. We run around for a bit and race Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. “Can I go now?” Yachi asks. I smile and hop down from Kageyama. “I’ll carry you!” I yell and everyone laughs. Yachi nods while laughing and comes over while I not really bend down. She jumps on my back and I hold her up for a good 3 seconds before falling to the floor. Everyone bursts out laughing and Kageyama even falls to the floor. I crawl out from under Yachi and find myself sprawled out in Kageyama’s lap. He smiles at me softly and the video ends. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tears fall as I drink down the last few pills. It will take a while to kick in so I’m happy that will be the last video I see. That will be the last face of them I see. I look down and grab the razor. I press it into my skin but still nothing. Everything is numb. I want to live for them all. I want to but there isn’t anything left. I feel nothing. I can barely get out of bed each day. I can’t eat without throwing it all up. I don’t even get excited for volleyball anymore. It’s just numb. I’m empty. My vision starts blurring and I watch as the water around me turns red with the blood from my wrists. </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Kageyama</b>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>I glance over at my phone as it rings. Dumbass Hinata. Calling at 3am. I ignore it. Then he calls again. And again. But then he stops. He’s probably just bored at night. He calls me at night often. I only responded once and all he said was nonsense. It’s probably the same tonight. He is usually asleep at this time but I’m sure it’s nothing that important. I turn off my phone and fall asleep. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>When I wake up, I look through my missed calls and see that Hinata left a voicemail and a text. He never leaves voicemails though. Texts are normal but I’ve never gotten a voicemail. I check the text first and it’s just three words. Three words that tell me something is wrong. Something is definitely wrong. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Dumbass Hinata</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You are amazing. </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gulp and flip to the other tab with the voicemails. Before I can click on it, my mom calls me downstairs. I sigh and wait to answer it. I head down where my mom and Miwa are sitting at the table. They look tired and sad. “Tobio can you sit down for a minute?” Miwa asks. “Can I listen to this voicemail first?” I ask. Miwa’s eyes widen and mom asks, “Who’s it from?” “Hinata.” I tell them and Miwa drops her face onto the table. Mom looks between her and me and frowns. “Go listen first. Sit down to listen. Then come here when you are ready.” Mom says. I nod and make my way back upstairs. I’m even more scared now. Miwa and Mom seemed scared when I said his name. I sit down on my bed and press play. </p>
<p>   </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, Kageyama. I hope you are sleeping well since you aren’t answering. Sorry for calling so late I just. . . can’t ever sleep. I know whenever I call you I usually talk nonsense and I’m sorry about that. I just. . . need something to distract me. Your voice is enough to distract me. That’s why I call you. I didn’t want anyone else, I just wanted to hear you. I was going through my phone and I found these great photos and videos. You can have them if you get to look through my stuff. This probably sounds really weird but you’ll understand when you get the letter or something. Also, I want you to have all of my stuff. Everything. You were pretty much everything to me so I want you to have everything of me to remember me by. This probably sounds really bad and I’m guessing you know where this is going. I guess I just couldn’t take it anymore. I should’ve told you. I should’ve told someone. I just . . . I couldn’t. I was too scared. And I know you saw the scars. I know you’ve seen them. But you didn’t bring them up. You said to talk when I was ready and I’m ready now. I hurt. I am hurting. I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything. I’m empty. I don’t even feel excited for volleyball. I know that must sound impossible for you. I know everyone says I’m a bad actor and liar but I did take theader in middle school. I’m good enough to fool everyone and say I’m happy. I’m not happy. I haven’t been for a while. It’s nothing to do with you. It’s just me. I can’t deal with this anymore. I want to. I want to see you again. I want to hear you again. I want another chance with you. I just. . . don’t think this is the one. There are a few things I want to tell you before I end this voicemail and I know it’s super long and I’m talking really fast so you might rewatch this a few times to understand what I’m saying. I want to say that you are perfect. You are amazing. You are the best setter in the world. You are the best friend in the world. I would also like to say that. . .  I’m. . .I’m in love with you. I love you. I really really love you. The last thing I want to say is don’t be sad. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame others. It’s me and me alone you should be mad at. If I see you cry about me I will kill you. Please don’t cry. I don’t want that. I just want to be happy. Be happy that I’m going to be happier. Be happy for me. This isn’t a tragedy. It’s just life. It happens sometimes. And I’m sorry I was one of those times. I am not going to say my last words as goodbye. Instead I want to remind you that-” </p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>Everything stopped. Everything. I-. The text. The whole voicemail. Mom and Miwa. I stare at the wall. Emotionless. Empty. Then the tears formed. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I can’t-. Miwa opens the door and comes in. She wraps her arms around me and I can breathe again. “I’m so sorry Tobio.” she whispers. Then I break. The sob. The ugly crying. The screaming. I am to blame. I did it. I should’ve answered the call. If I wasn’t so fucking stupid. If I wasn’t a dumbass. I could’ve-. “There is nothing you could’ve done.” Miwa whispers. I push her away and start sobbing even harder. “I could’ve answered the call! The fucking call, Miwa! I could’ve done anything but ignore it! But I’m a dumbass. I left him! I left him all alone! He was alone Miwa! He-” I scream but I can’t even finish. My voice chokes and all I can do is sob and scream. I stuff my face in a pillow and cover myself with blankets. Miwa sits next to me and has an arm around me. “I’m sorry Tobio. I don’t even know how you feel.” she says. “He loved me. He didn’t even know-” I choke and she shushes me and rubs my back, “Save your voice. I know. I know and I’m sorry.” I can hear footsteps and I assume my mother coming in. “Any news?” Miwa asks. Mom says nothing so I don’t know anything yet. I can only wonder how they knew. Was Hinata already found? Did they find him in time? Was there anything they could do? Can they save him? Did they save him? I push the questions away and let the thoughts of guilt consume. “Can I be alone?” I whisper. Miwa doesn’t answer but she gets up and I hear the door close. I grab my phone and almost open it but then I see the lock screen. The picture of Hinata copying me drinking milk. I can’t smile at it now though. It hurts too much. I open my phone and go to camera roll. I look through my photos and videos. Everything is either volleyball or Hinata. I close my phone as soon as I see Yamaguchi’s number pop up. Yamaguchi and Hinata were close but Hinata and I were closer. Yamaguchi probably knows. He probably knows it’s my fault. I can’t answer. Not now. Not ever. I can’t live without Hinata. I needed him. Just like I made him happy, he made me happy. He was my everything too. Now I can’t even move. I can barely breathe. How will I live without him? How can I even imagine that? I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t. But I will now. If he’s actually gone then I’m alone. I’m alone again. No one can cheer me up. Hinata could. Hinata could do anything. But now he’s gone. He’s actually gone. And I’m alone. I’m alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>“Kageyama!”</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had been to one other funeral. My Grandfather's. That hurt a lot. He was my family. He was all I had. He passed away while I was in middle high. But now here I am. My second funeral. The funeral of my first love. </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>"Kageyama!" I run downstairs as I hear my mom yell. I run to her and she has her phone on and is on a call. "Hinata is still breathing. They might save him." she tells me. As soon as I hear it, my hopes skyrocket. Hinata is a fighter. He has fought through everything. He can do it. I know he can. I've seen him do it before. I silently pray as we wait for more updates. Hinata has always been something special in my life. He started as that random kid from the middle high team. He was terrible but he could hit. If he had worked those three years he could've been amazing. I honestly never found out what happened those three years. I mean, I know he didn't have any boys playing volleyball there but still. Who did he practice with? Where did he practice? Then when we met in high school. At first, I was so mad I had to work with you. Slowly, I began to like it though. I liked the team. I liked playing with everyone. Then I started realizing what I felt for you. You were always special to me. I just didn't know in what way. I can confirm now though. I was in love with Hinata Shouyou. My mom drops her phone and I know. I know. It was the same for Grandpa. It's the same face. Same reaction. Everything. It means. . . . </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>I drop off the flowers at his casket. I sit down for a bit. The picture of Hinata is beautiful. It's one of him smiling. The same bright smile that brightened my world. The one that made my day. The one that was brighter than the sun. That smile. I wonder if he's smiling like that now? I hear people behind me so I move. I stand a ways away but close enough to see the picture. I put my hand in my jacket pocket and feel something crumbled up inside. I take it out and it's a photo. It's from the photo booth at the carnival. Hinata and I went together. In the photo we are smiling together. You have an arm around me and I'm looking at you. I have a look in my eyes. I know what it means. I knew then too. Hinata has his smile. The smile like the sun. The one that made the world go round. Tears form in my eyes and drop onto the photo, right onto Hinata's face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyday. Everyday. The flower shop knows me by name. They know my order. I grab the flowers and go to the cemetery. I sit down and put the flowers down in front of me. I take out my work and open it. "Hey Hinata? Do you still have school work up there? If you don't you can do mine with me." I say. I take out a pen and begin working on my homework. I must seem crazy. I mean, I am. I've been crazy ever since he left. I get stuck on a question and sigh, "Hinata, do you know the answer?" I ask. No reply. I sit for a few minutes waiting. I don't even realize there are tears rolling down my face. I seem to cry a lot now. I can't even tell if I'm crying or not anymore. "See, Hinata? I'm doing Japanese! I'm not failing anymore. Are you proud?" I say putting my grade sheet on top of my work. I hope he sees it. I hope he's proud. "Are you okay?" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I turn around to see Yamaguchi and Tsukishima coming over. "Are you okay, Kageyama?" Yamaguchi asks. I nod and stuff everything away quickly. "Woah! Kageyama! You are crying!" Yamaguchi exclaims. I wipe my face and shake my head, "I'm fine." Yamaguchi sighs and Tsukishima won't look at me. They drop off a flower and then get ready to leave. "You can talk to us, you know? We are your friends." Yamaguchi says. I nod and start to walk away. "King." Tsukishima calls. I turn around and he sighs, "He's gone. You might need to accept that. Once you do, come talk." Yamaguchi and him walk away as I stare. Tears are falling again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>'He's gone. You might need to accept that.' I think about it. I think about it everyday. It doesn't stop me from seeing Hinata. If I don't go, I don't know what I will do. I see Yamaguchi and Tsukishima there a lot now too. I even ran into Natsu once. She looks so much like him. I almost hugged her. Instead, I ran away. I don't want her to see my cry. She sees me as strong, Tobio-Chan. Her big brother's best friend. But she doesn't have him anymore. I don't either. We are both alone. That's when it hit me. He's gone. He's gone. I won't see him again. He's gone. I can't help but cry. Not just cry, sob. I try to pretend it's not true. I try to pretend he'll come back. But he won't. He's gone. I call Tsukishima and Yamaguchi and they make their way to my house. They suffered too. Just, before I did. Now it's my turn. I get to hurt. I get to blame myself. And they are there to comfort me. They will help me this time. I know Hinata is there too. I know he's with me right now. He's next to me as I cry. He's there as I complain to Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. He's there. He wants me to be happy. So I'll continue. I'll go on. For him. He wanted to make it to the Olympics. I'll make it there. He wanted to beat me. He already did. He can have everything. I'll do it all for him. He's there. I have to tell myself that. He's there. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>"I'm here"</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if I should give this a happy ending or not.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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